lost my wits
fuckkkkk this is seriously mind-fucking. for once after so many bloody years i actually do NOT know what i really want!! hate what i’m doing right now. seriously God’s punishing me for being a backslider (technically, not spiritually!). i try fuckerously hard to be NAISE to ppl (ok co-workers to be precise. i’m generally nice to strangers wahaha) but it’s fuckingcheebye killing me luhh! all cheebyebors dislike me or they can’t click with me?! Oh Lord, why did you put all these difficult charbors in my path?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????? yesssss i enjoy and yearn for female companionship very much but not these sort of diverse varieties lah!!!!! (i’d rather meet those fairfield bitches all over again at least all sama sama predictable one kind only.) now they prolly think i’m acting all too cool for them or the other way round. and it’s not like i can completely avoid them as of now! somehow they’ve managed to make cut-throat corporate culture seems like a safe haven retreat and i’m missing it alr. i need, should and ought to seriously reconsider my blueprint for the future, bleak’s becoming an understatement. i shall give myself one more week in order to weigh my pros and cons rationally and sensibly and deliberate my final decision!! I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT CONTINUE TO BE A QUITTER AND A PROCRASTINATOR. GOTTA PERSERVERE AND FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES!!!! also, i desperately need to get my life all sorted out! early accidental death clearly doesn’t occur easily and conveniently to ppl who want to die young. and i can’t believe i’ve been daydreaming about winning the toto (approx 2mil jackpot, no?) and planning how to utilize the money. call me ah siao. everyone knows the probability’s like 1 in 8145060… but here’s the madness, i don’t even know how does toto works or how to place bets. hahahahaha and i’ve never placed a single bet with spore pools, so how to win? negative probability. dreading next week already. self-esteem hit an all-time low. useless, hopeless, clueless, faithless, friendless, motherless, ahmaless. stupid astrology cusp signs. why can’t i be a true blue gemini then i’ll have happy thoughts like forever. OMG i’ve just enlightened myself! God’s making my life so unbearable because i believe in horoscopes! RIGHT NOT fellow christians? Astrology’s an abomination to God and i’m detestable before God because i partake in such bullshit! See Holy Father, i just said astrology’s bullshit. So yea, imma be a true follower of Christ and forsake all those bullshit. Please bestow me with a fulfilling and smooth-sailing life ahead. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee. Promise to stop reading zodiac tweets! Please bless me everyday throughout my living years. Please do not let anything happen beyond my anticipation and control and awareness… (Note: Perfectly fine with accidental deaths… not too painful though.) I can really do without all these trials and tribulations and I can guarantee you my faith in you will never ever waver just like my love for snoopy baby. I love you very much the almighty God, from the deepest core of my heart <3 :):) aight goodnight.
